Even though Stacey seemed friendly enough, my throat clogged. It clogged when the other girls became silent, joining the clamor, all waiting for my response.
I opened my mouth, willing the words to flow, but I coughed and shifted on my seat when the panic held them back.
“Family friend,” I heard said from beside me, and turned to see that Levi had spoken for me, rescued me. I adored him at that moment, my heart falling for him just that little bit more—if that was at all possible.
Stacey glanced to Levi and then back to me. “Nice. And are you from Seattle, Elsie, or are you from Bama too?”
“Portland,” Levi answered and Stacey laughed.
“Levi Carillo, are you going to answer every question I ask Elsie or are you gonna let your girlfriend actually speak for herself?”
Levi froze, and I could see him struggling to find an answer to help me. My heart thudded too quickly and I could feel the panic setting in. But I pushed through it all to say, “He’s just trying to help me, that’s all.”
I saw it the second I spoke. Everyone was watching me that little bit closer. I saw Harper and the girls on the other side of the table glance at each other. I knew, because I’d always known that my different sound was more pronounced. It was more than Levi let on, but he cared for me, I was his girl, he probably didn’t hear it the same.
“Oh, I,” Stacey sputtered clearly uncomfortable, and I laid my hand on hers.
I freed my hand from Levi’s, then tapped my left ear. “I’m deaf in my left ear and partially in my right. So Levi sometimes helps me with communication.”
I felt eyes on me, and I wanted to do nothing more than run away and escape their collective judgment. Stacey looked to Jake and shook her head in disappointment. “You hear that, Jakey? See how much Levi does for Elsie, and I can’t even get you to make me a damn cup of coffee on a morning!”
Levi’s friends laughed when Jake scowled at his girlfriend. Stacey batted her hand and said, “You’ve got a good one there, Elsie. Don’t let him go.”
I turned to Levi, smiling. “I won’t,” I whispered and leaned in closer. “He’s my everything.”
I didn’t know if anyone else was listening, because I was too busy feeling the kiss that Levi was placing on my upturned mouth, then he declared, “You have no idea how proud of you I am right now.”
I kissed him again, and happily listened to the conversations around the table. I didn’t really participate for the next hour, but I didn’t mind. Because I’d taken a chance and it hadn’t backfired. Yes, the stares hurt, as did the uncomfortable silences. But I’d fought the voices in my head. I’d made my first move to victory.
I couldn’t wait to tell Clara. Couldn’t wait to tell her that I’d begun the fight.
When the dishes were cleared, Coach rounded up all of the team for a team photo. I panicked when Levi had to leave me, but Stacey stayed beside me even when her friends all went into the entrance room to get more drinks.
I watched from the table as the coaching staff began positioning the players into rows. I smiled at Levi standing to the back of the waiting team between Jake and Ashton, listening to them talk yet saying nothing to contribute.
My sweet shy guy.
“You’re both kinda fucking cute together, you know?”
I turned to Stacey and felt my cheeks heat. “He’s saved me. He’s good for me. We’re good for each other.”
“I can see that,” she said. I held back a laugh when Coach made Levi stand front and center. “He’s the star here at UW,” Stacey informed. “You good with all the attention he gets?”
I faced Stacey and shrugged. “I don’t go to school here. I… I have been working at a treatment center, so I don’t see any of it apart from the games.”
Stacey nodded. “But Levi’s clearly headed to the NFL, then that’ll be his life. Look at his brother and the adulation he receives. Their lives become a circus.”
My head whipped back to Levi and I felt my heart sink. I remembered Lexi mentioned this to me weeks ago, but I hadn’t let myself think that far ahead. I hadn’t let myself think about how our lives could be if we were still together and he made it to the next level; what people might find out about my past… that they might expect me to talk.
And that would be too much. Speaking to friends was one thing, but to be public…
“Elsie, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just making conversation.”
“I know,’ I whispered, watching Levi stare without expression into the lens of the camera. The thought of all that attention terrified me, but looking at him now, my Levi, my treasure, the boy that brought me the moon, I knew I would have to learn to cope, because I couldn’t leave him.